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Posted in Poetry

FATHER FORGIVE ME

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

My sins are many but to one I will confess

it is little to the eye but holds a weight

that caused my heart to sink

sink so fast as seaweed from whence it rose

my spirit cries out for relief towards you.

 

My thoughts are many, my words are few

I don’t know where to start but I state my case

and wish to be heard by you and only you

Like a dove listens to its mate alone

I want you to listen.

 

I killed him… sucked the life out of him

Watched as he strained and tried to get his last breath

A small price to pay so we can live, so I can live

He took me from the village to tame me

He wanted me to be his, but I turned into him

Loved him I did, hated him I couldn’t.

 

His ideals lead to a discontinuation

Of our experimental designs of satisfaction

A beauty that I was known by, faded away

The passion that drove my life, cooled

My life turned like summer turned to winter

Knowing that the cold was there to stay.

 

Above all else I tried to be true, true to be me

For joy to follow, as night follows day

But a shell of a woman I became

A ghost in my own life

That’s the beauty I acquired

When two joins to be one.

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Posted in Poetry

THE WAIT

My phone vibrated, and I couldn’t help but jump for it full of expectation.

Disappointment sank deep within me when it wasn’t a text from you.

If only you could hear my thoughts, I think you would text me.

Flee from me you may try but not too far, I mean,

have you met my awesome character?

 

As I stare at the screen… your image is what I see.

That’s when I realized, I have fallen for you.

Like small birds beaten by the storm against a dead wall, dead.

I died in your presence and I lie here as snow white did…

Waiting for the kiss of resurrection.

Was told to be patient as a gentle stream

when dealing with matters of the heart.

That I should flow into your ocean of pleasure with ease.

To be honest, patience isn’t a virtue I keep.

 

This silence is torturing me, yet when we met,

I found talking to you being torture.

My body could not follow simple protocol like it does every day.

Just breath young lady, breath!!!

My mind which was always full of words, went blank

and my mouth, started a conversation that led to nowhere.

The weather seemed to be the go to topic at the moment

and how the urban planning in Nairobi sucks.

 

Was drawn to you not by the beauty of your features,

the nicely formed jaws, nor your dark complexion

but by the level of thought and depth of voice

which feels me every time I hear it and gives me sweet peace.

Your eyes draw me making me look deep to listen to its call

Expectations held have been long baffled that I may be losing it.

But I will wait, I don’t care much if it will take you 14 years as did for Jacob

All I want is to be your Ruth and you be my Boaz.

 

How can I be still and keep calm in your presence?

I would like to know for sure.

For you make my heart beat to elevate,

my constant chatter to minimize and my mind,

it takes a train to when we are grinning toothless at each other.

Do not mistake my behavior as obsession,

for I would like to be your possession.

To love and to hold till our spirits become one.

 

Posted in Poetry

TILL DEATH DO US PART

“I promise to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” I remember those words as clear as day. Words that seemed so sincere, so true and said with complete confidence. I looked into your eyes and saw how much you loved me or I just saw the reflection of my eyes in yours? Tears intoxicated my vision that I could not see what was clearly in front of me.

The promises turned to privileges that where hanging on a corrupted weigh scale. Outlined with rules and conditions that I was to meet with total subjection. They say love is patient and love is kind, kind enough to blind me to your ways. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered… anger is what I feel every day when I look at your face. Anger is what drives me to do what I do for you. Hate you I can’t. Love you again I won’t. Am not angry at you don’t get me wrong. I just don’t like who I have become because of you. Love keeps no record of wrongs. That’s funny because I have a library full of them, each cataloged neatly with the date of publishing.

I rock myself in this chair each night as I watch our child sleep. A mantra creeps in to my ears… “love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Hahahaha!!! What poetic irony it all seems to me at this moment. You must be thinking am crazy right now. Well, I agree with you, I agree… Something that I haven’t done for a while now. I promise to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until unfaithful do we part.

Posted in Poetry

YOU KNOW

You just had to say it, you know, those words

The words that I escaped with passion as an addict escaping therapy

The words that cripples my heart every time when they come to mind

The words that hit me, “Welcome to reality!” with a smirk crawling up.

 

You just had to tell me, you know, the truth

The truth that has tied down my soul with shackles

The truth that made me be on a run, be held at the gun

The truth that will surely set us free, set who free? Me?

 

You just had to do it, you know, that action

The action that deprives me the right to write my own fate

The action that stroke my hand encouraging me to express

The action that now judges me on what I have created

 

Posted in Poetry

VIBEZ

Sipping my drink casually as I drowned in my own thoughts,
I felt a certain pressure and goosebumps on my body
At that moment I heard a low husky voice close to my ear
Turning only to see a glorious sight before me
A six feet tall solid mass of a man
Casually wearing a Brioni piece
With his full boned body that seemed to be a very comfortable place for me to nestle
As he stooped closer in conversation
My words sounded to me as if it cake out in restrained breath
The scent of his after shave intoxicated me
Making it more harder to express my opinions on the issue set on motion

His hazel nut brown eyes looked down on me warming my heart
Couldn’t help my self but trace the contours of his face in awe
His whiskers trimmed so neatly that my hands itched to trace
How interesting his face was, sprinkled with little brown spots
He seemed so relaxed yet giving an air of seriousness
Looked at his full lipped smile that enchanted my spirit
Possessed my body stiff

My lips parted to welcome the warmth he offered
I grabbed the sit edges and ached my heart upwards for him to receive
I could hear an echo of disagreement building at the back of my mind
But I was falling so hard that they were shattered by gravity
I wonder in which aspects of fairness is one permitted to have such control over another
That one could compel my being to total obedience against my rationality.

 

Posted in Poetry

THE TREMBLES

Words built in the air forming sentences that pushed themselves into my being. My vision started to get blurry, my being contracted and stiffened in response. I felt something in my throat, blocking the flow of the clean God given oxygen into my lungs. My hands in response shot up to try to soothe the lump away but it won’t bug.

The body I once carried so effortlessly, suddenly, felt heavier like an extra 100 kilograms were just dropped on me. Eyes searching, asking, pleading for help, but the words needed did not form in my mouth, I simply sank to the welcoming earth. Holding on to it, clawing, digging in to it. I felt a sharp pain like a needle pierced into my eyes to the back of my head and just like that I entered the darkness.

Echoes, I can hear echoes of phrases in the distance. Mpenzi wangu! Mpenzi wangu! My love! My love! The voice, there is something about that voice. The arms that held me brought comfort, diffusing through my skin, transported by my veins to settle in the center of my being.

My heart, with great effort, took control of my body and eventually I opened my eyes. Drawing the image in front of me into focus I tried to register the situation that am in. As if confusion was written on my face in caps lock, the image spoke. The chain of words that came from it, a body that I felt comfortable cuddled in, brought nothing but grief.

That’s when the trembles began.

Posted in Poetry

IT’S ME AGAIN

Hey! It’s me again. I’ve called a thousand times but you’re not picking up. Is it me? Is it you? I want to know. Memories of the past are strolling in my brain and I simply can’t pick the thing that drifts you away. Each piece holds some pain, some laughter, some joy, all forming up together creating a thread of events that lead us to this moment. There is a bitterness that is growing from my stomach, to my heart, to my throat and it’s straining to come out. Am scared, I fear the next second, the next minute, the next phone call, the next space of silence.

Listen! Can you hear it? It’s raining, the drops are falling with such a rush to reach the earth below, with such passion, such intensity, that the streams open with satisfaction. Rain on me once more, I don’t mind the cold. I know I like bright colors, but grey is a color I have come to love as well. It is who you are. Your touch would make my temperature fall, my hair to stand on edge, paling my skin. Is it me? Is it you? Tell me now. I want to know the truth. I want to let the bitterness out. I want my vision to be blurry for a moment, the droplets forming soaking my eyelashes, slide down my cheek bones to the ground joining their brethren in sweet fellowship. I need to hear it.

Posted in Poetry

THE CASE

Bring up your cause so we can hear

Speak in reason which you hold so strong

Witness unto us the deed that has been done

Show us the acts that distressed your peace

What they may be, considerations will be made

 

Affliction comes not forth of the dust

Neither trouble spring out of the ground

Where is your beauty, we would like to know?

Your heart has become darker than coal

Even your skin cleaves onto your bones.

 

Bitterness rules your desolate life like a tyrant

Is thy grief is heavier than the sand of the sea

That you drive your throat hoarse

As if the terrors of death have fallen upon you

Why not give up the ghost then?

 

No I will not give up my ghost

It is my essence of existence, my identity, my pedigree

I am not bitter, am just exasperated

Because people lie and make it sound normal.

 

Why does humankind pretend to be good yet we are all savages?

Ready to pound on others and celebrate their misfortunes

My heart was once white, but humankind has made it dark

Like soot in a kettle, it blackens everyday

 

I am bitter of the injustices meted daily by humankind

Of slavery, racism, colonialism, terrorism, ethnic cleaning and religious profiling

If all religions speak of peace, why do we have so much wars

We flock in churches, mosques and synagogues, yet inside we are vile

We are evil, conniving and cunning, yet in religion we veil

 

We hurt, cheat, kill and later turn our bloody hands to shake our victims

We applaud the evil doers, and condemn the morally right

The chaste ones are ridiculed, shunned like a deadly disease

We pretend to be saints in front of camera,

Yet we have daggers underneath the table

Posted in Inspire, Poetry

THE WEDDING

Tried to summon my courage,
There was a touch of insanity,
If you ask me,
There was a sense of lugubrious drollery,
In the whole scene;
Which could not be dissipated
With the musical chants.

My pace was slow and heavy,
I knew i was taking a merry dance with death;
The drought had affected him too,
His joints were like knots in a rope;
Meagre breasts panted together,
Eyes stared stonily,
Oh dear!!! I wasn’t ready.

The wound had just healed,
He won’t be able to fit,
That I knew for sure;
But his devilish look cut through
The mournful stillness of my spirit,
He won’t wait for me,
Do I get a say really?

Posted in Poetry

OLD DAYS

The wind blows, the sound is nostalgic,

Of the old days when rains, used to be plenty

And children played outside, and herded cattle in the fields

The trees whistle in the forest

In a reminiscence of the whistling of the herder in the green fields

When the herd was plenty and the rain dropped from the sky

The land was fertile and the plains were never dry

 

The rain drops, on the metal sheet

Very intense but for a short time

Unlike the old times when, we had more than plenty

When we had bumper harvests and our granaries were ever full

 

Now on the wind blows, and brushes past the dry trees

The trees whistle a mournful sound, like a funeral procession

the raindrops are scarce, and very feeble, like a candle fire in the wind

The children never play outside, they are never amused by the sun and the desolate land

And the fireplace has no fire, only ashes remain, because the corn has since dried in the farm land

 

Adopted words,

Anonymous.